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November 2nd, 2008
04:33 pm
I keep seeing Spam ads for articles promising the secret to making a guy like you. With titles like, "make him like you", "the secret to making him fall in love" etc.
and the whole idea just seems so sad! Ladies! Wake up! Life will be so much easier for you when you realize how pointless that struggle is. It seems so simple to me... if he doesn't like you, then you say good riddance! and you find someone new who does fancy your quirks and big ass... I mean what?. Who wants to have to "make" someone like them?? It just doesn't seem very conducive to LOVE.
I'm not saying it doesn't suck at times, but its pointless to try to change who you are in order to convince someone else that they are gonna like it. ludicrous!
I feel like I just wrote an article for "O"(prah) magazine.
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October 30th, 2008
09:23 pm
I think this man might be a distant relative
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October 23rd, 2008
04:12 pm
 
The Gap has a running campaign right now entitled "vote for" to go along with all the Election Hoop-La. And all the Staff were given White T-shirts with the slogan "Vote for_________." written across the front in Black text. The idea is that, we all fill in the blank with whatever we want and wear it around the store for the day (today). Could be a candidate name or a concept, or a proposition or whatever you stand for.
first of all GAP are you outta your effing mind?? You're opening Pandoras box, and releasing the khaki wielding population on your poor workers.
I opted to spend the day mindlessly folding sweaters, rather then exchanging political ideals and partaking in heated debates.
Thus my T-Shirt was filled in as such:
( Vote for _____. )
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July 25th, 2008
09:48 pm
All my peers are sprouting babies. My Ovaries are going on lock down.
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July 13th, 2008
11:43 am - Accidently in love
I kinda really wanna get up out of this country!
no this is not a profound political statement. I simply just have the itch to travel again... and soon. As a kid when i'd watch game shows like "Lets make a deal" or The Price is Right, I'd undoubtedly get far more excited when they pulled the curtain of a prize to reveal the Big ol Vacation package (to some far away place); as opposed to the shiny red car or the fancy Living room set with big screen TV, and quite frankly was confused when anyone else disagreed.
I'm a bit overwhelmed sometimes by all the places I still want to see (and live) perhaps thats why I look at marriage and family as a bit of a dead end that I have to reach eventually that will put an end to all my freedom and life adventures. haha. No wonder I keep pushing back my "when i'll be ready to marry age" :). I'll be all dried up and too wrinkly for a husband by the time i'm anywhere ready to commit to that sort of living (although it IS on my to-do list). I feel most people in the christian society (that i've grown up around most my life) get married young, which leaves me feeling a bit like an odd ball, in that, I dont even have a desire for that yet at 27. Then again, I secretley suspect a lot of times, many young christian couples just wanna get to the SEXIN thats forbidden till the vowels are in place. Yeah I said it. Believe it or not Christians are just as HOT TO TROT as the next guy/gal. eh..... I feel like I had a point I was getting too... ehhhhhhh... I think i lost it. Now i'm just thinking, "I wonder if my blog is still on the camp reading list"... and how do i get off of that thing. hahah. awesome.
God forbid some AIMer stumble across my extended thoughts on Sexin, I prolly should go ahead and end this, till I have the time to create an entirely new blog underground status.
and honestly who put me on that list anyway... if you read this.. GET ME OFF! haha.
Also (unrelated) I've been sans Paxil for a week and half-ish and its making me cooky... i really need to get on up into town and restore my social sanity (fill my prescription). Its funny that this suprises me everytime as if I havnt done this cycle countless times before. I spose a wee part of me starts to think I am simply confidant and happy go lucky on my own two feet. sucker! hehe. Oh well... its a small price to pay (espeically while covered by blue cross *ba dum chhhh*) and I really dont mind that I need a little assistance to be my best self. I've never understood why some people are so diligently ANTI DRUGS... when they help you be who you know you really are, or make your life more pleasant and fulfilling.
*shrug* I guess I just dont get a lot of things.
peace out
love,
ellie
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June 19th, 2008
12:04 am - soon...
Entries I want to write when I get the time:
1. The state of my faith without using any Christian coined terminology, bible school answers, or spoon fed -isms of ANY kind 'cause quite frankly it all makes me wanna puke and say SHIT a lot to counterbalance. But genuine and heart felt non the less.
2. My take on Adult responsibility, "growing up" and the emphasis society places on making money and giving people value solely based on a yearly figure. ... I'm just not buying it. I want to be different! And I want to find my happiness elsewhere!
3. A day in the life of with pictures... 'cause I just have way too many pictures I need to post.
but alas...no time! too much editing... Deadlines always creeping nearer! goodnight ljland!
love,
ellie
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June 17th, 2008
11:47 pm - baby crushes and freckles
I have a hand full of baby crushes at the moment. Baby crushes are the best... thats when they are still fun to think about, and whether they like YOU back or not, really doesnt matter, 'cause you are just enjoying being interested in someone else. I'm a sucker for the ones that make me laugh. Its just a really attractive quality. I cant really even describe how picky i've become with the opposite gender though... dating takes soo much more energy then I think i'm capable of, so I'd really only consider the possibility again for someone sincerely special.
I'm out in the sun most of the day now, and I'm growing a crop of freckles across my nose, I kind of like my cute little cancer patches, Too bad i'll prolly have to burn them off when im old and gray.
did I really just write an entire entry about baby crushes and freckles? My mind needs more time to wonder a bit..
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June 13th, 2008
06:12 pm
Only a tiny boy entry.
You could have been everything I ever wanted, but you didnt make me laugh. And dont you know, laughing is what I do best
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June 12th, 2008
10:27 pm - things are just good
Sometimes I wonder if my memories of people evolve over time into something better then they were. Perhaps they were never as funny as I thought they were, never as sweet. Perhaps they didnt dig me or understand me as much as I like to think they did.
Do I sweeten the memories to have something pleasant to think about... or am I just being cynical as per usual, and grasping for reasons to discount and forget.
I'm grateful for the summer starting, and my schedule getting all plump with productivity. Keeps my brain too busy to ask silly questions like that posed above.
They showed my first video of the summer tonight, and it went well. I always cringe right before they hit play, but then its so satisfying listening to people laugh and awww at something you've put together. I humbly appreciate the appreciation.
Life is just pretty damn good right now, I had a moment walking past the lake to mountain view lounge today, where i was just overcome by gratitude for where I get to live (a big beautiful ranch house on a mountain with two other girls, my own beautiful room) what I get to do (collect memories, be creative, work on a converted bus!) who I get to know and hang out with (quality human beings in heart/humor/character/charm) and I have exciting things to look forward to come fall. Things are just good.
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June 6th, 2008
10:13 pm
Little Goob was succesfully rehabilitated and released into the wild once more. I'm taking it harder then I thought I would. One gets awfully attatched when they realize something is rellying on them for life. I now have a serious case of empty nest syndrome. Perhaps i'll start scouring the woods in search of crippled animals.
Changing trains of thought entirely...
call me a bitch, but lately, (perhaps mostley in the last year or so) I've become awfully selfish with whom I expell emotional energy on. Where as in the past I would deem myself a "people pleaser"... I can honestly say I just dont care as much anymore. I'm more concerned with connecting with the people that I find intriguing or whos friendship would be an assest to my life and not just a drain.
Dont get me wrong, I still find it of utmost importance to respect and love people in general, but when it comes to letting people into my protected little world of ellie, I am much more picky. Some stellar human beings have been placed in my life lately, and I am just greatful for the chance to know them.
This summer is gonna bring with it even more humans to play with and I cant wait to see who I connect with.
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May 25th, 2008
09:56 pm - I'm a mama (bird)
Its been raining all day, and its no secret I love love love the wet stuff. Although i'd prefer a nice chill day by the fire sipping hot cocoa and reading a book while I listen to it outside my window, sometimes we just dont get what we want. So, after I put in my eight hours, I was strolling home from the lodge, and there in a puddle of mud along the aim trail was a birdy massacre. It appeared their little home was flooded, and they either jumped ship or were blown outta the tree.
Two babies dead, and one confused baby hobbling about in the water. Call me a softy, but I couldnt just leave the little guy! So, I scooped him up and brought him home. I've tried to nurse three other baby birds in my life back to health and they've always died on me. HOWEVER, This one seems a bit spunky so I have high hopes!
I've been feeding him bloodworms and sugar water every couple of hours and I made him a chill pad next to the heater. At first he was looking at me like "ahem... arnt you going to chew this up and regurgitate it for me?" but eventually he seemed to get the hang of it. I like you litttle bird, but i'm not going to chew your bloodworms.
Anne named him Goober. I said anything, but Lucky, 'cause Lucky 1, Lucky 2, and Lucky 3 all kicked the bucket.
Mama bird
Meet Goober
Incentive to stay alive... a kick ass bachelor pad.
I'm kind of attatched I hope he makes it through the night.
love,
ellie
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May 18th, 2008
08:54 pm
My hair is getting long, and has finally been trained into submission so that it does just about what I want it to do. Just call me, ellie, the hair whisperer.
The plan as of now, is to grow it real long, then chop it off for locks of love eventually. I wonder if they will take my overprocessed dyed out hair. (...?) What if locks of love denied my hair! That would be hilarious.
The summer is quickly approaching, and I'm getting really antsy for the change of pace. Its just a completely different place around here during the summer. Always stuff going on, always people out and about doing fun things. And I stay real busy with video stuff. My office is a gutted out retro bus from the seventies, and I must say its pretty befitting. They are setting up all the video equipment in the back half of the bus with a divider while the coordinators office will be occupying the front half of the bus. I like it in the back 'cause we have our own private VIP entrance (the emergency exit) and come on everyone knows all the cool kids always sat in the back of the bus on field trips.
The camp Photographer is coming up two weeks early, and we get to start decorating and setting things up. I'm in a creative frenzy and I cant wait. i'll take pictures when we make the transformation.
love,
ellie
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May 12th, 2008
11:28 am
a sweet note from a sweet girl:
ellie...
I am really proud of you for diving into your next adventure. I see so much in you that I know you do not yet see in yourself, what God sees must be mind boggling. I just want you to know that courage is NOT the absence of fear, but rather pressing on inspite of it. Your are courageous ellie. i cant wait to hang out this summer and will miss you while i'm gone. thanks for being my friend
love,
cait
I'm moving in the fall once again
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May 5th, 2008
06:56 pm
Today I feel like this:
Big World by Jim Carling
and I'd very much like it to pass.
Life why do you scare me. Stop it stop it. I got this.
love,
ellie
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May 1st, 2008
10:00 pm - "...in my head. You'll have to come visit"
Dear Livejournal,
I recently watched a movie called Two Days in Paris, that I love love loved... and most of you will probabely hate hate hate, so dont run out and rent it off of my review. BUT the dialogue and banter between the two main characters is so realistic, and smart. I love these kinds of movies. Characters you can relate to, flaws and all. (also, there are numerous highly inappropriate parts, so if you are easily offended dont bother, you'll spend the whole movie scoffing or twitching uncomfortably)
Anyhoo... it also got my wheels turning on another subject, that of Jealousy. I used to think it to be a completely useless and hurtful emotion that served no purpose but to make all involved miserable. However as Im older and wiser now (perhaps more older then wiser) I see the use in it, when its controlled properly. Its the jealousy you dont control, that is bad news.
For example: I personally find it endearing and sweet when the ol significant other gets a wee jealous. I'm talking casual comments here, not like full blown "tapping my phone", "implanting GPS in my purse" kind of business. but, yes, its cute. In fact, i'd even go as far as to say a relationship completely devoid of jealousy, is prolly also devoid of passion. Something your not too concerned about losing. I'm no Dr. Phill, but I believe it to be true.
Another example: on the other end of the spectrum, when jealousy stops being just cute little pangs to remind you that your into someone, and rightfully rolls over into complete unpleasantness, it can be used to get over someone quickly. Like after a break up, when you need to. Well, perhaps its just me, but a stiff kick of jealousy (like the real unpleasant kind) and I'm able to shut off romantic feelings far quicker then just letting them take there natural course. Like a switch, it just changes things. do you agree? Am I alone on this one?
Anyways, turns out its not one of my top three emotions or anything, but I am indeed pro jealousy (minus the crazy)
I have an entry brewing in my mind involving a list of entirely accidental and entirely inappropriate statements, that I'll prolly never post, 'cause I dont know who reads this thing, but Oh man, I got some real gems! alas Gotta be careful with the ever watchful camp eye and all. Calvin Crest rules! :) no really it does though.
love,
ellie
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April 28th, 2008
02:21 am - adventurer >homebody
I just (well not so "just" anymore) got back from watching 88 minutes, in Fresno with my friend Buck. And boy am I glad I have yet again misplaced my phone, 'cause I'm pretty sure for the next couple of days i'm going to be getting countless calls that sound something like this "you have 88 minutes to live, how does it feel... *man giggle*) :D
I've been doing a run down on my options of where to live next year, and so far I just have a long list of places I DON'T want to live with the reasons fallowing. Part of me wants to try somewhere out of state, but I just don't know if I could handle being so far from the fam. My inner adventurer and inner homebody are constantly duking it out for my attention. Well, wherever I go, my parents offered to help pay my rent while I go back to school (since they footed the bill for both my sisters). yeah I said the S word. I'm tempted to disable the comments on this entry, 'cause I really could do without the "yeah right" comments.
Ellie is surrounding herself with positive people and positive energy.
I feel like I'm at a point in my life where I am SEEKING out a struggle. I know soon, I will be making life "uncomfortable" for myself. But its exactly what I'm after. I'm no longer content with complacency.
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April 21st, 2008
09:42 pm - kernels folks kernels
If I had to describe myself in a few short sentences as of late, it would be something like this:
Still pretty darn sweet, but with a healthy dose of Sarcastic wit and cynicism to keep your teeth from hurting.
I've had a hand full of other LJ's in the past and they usually get cluttered up with Boy entries, in which case I promptly delete them in full later when I decide its time to erase said boy(s) from my recollection (at least romantically).
So as to avoid getting this journal deleted and added to the mass grave of my other ljs, I've decided to keep boys OUT of this one all together.
sooooo, in other news:
Todays consensus is that Potatoes are just better in Tot form.
chew on that for a while. These are free kernels of knowledge folks. How have you all survived without My entries for so long!?
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April 17th, 2008
10:16 am - Glutes, chords, pages! oh my!
I feel like I dont know how to write proper worthwhile blogs anymore (this assuming I ever did. hah). I've been peetering around on facebook for so long now, I just think in "status" form. Which only requires me to be witty for one sentence. and they even start the sentence for me! Ellie is...
so on that note i'll just start this with my current facebook status:
Ellie is working out her Glutious to the maximus so it will be minimus.
its true. In my recent quest to improve the quality of my day to day life, I chose three things to do daily, and once I get a handle on these three I may swap out or add more.
so daily Ellie is now:
1. pumping iron (grunt)
2. practicing her guitar
3. and Reading.
and very much enjoying all three!
have a good day livejournal land
love,
ellie
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April 14th, 2008
10:01 pm
-blowin' the cobwebs off this old thing-
Thinking about writing snippets or posting pictures from time to time.
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September 11th, 2007
05:04 pm
I kind of wish I hadnt deleted 98474789 journals before this one. Ellie circa early 2000's would have been a good read for a chuckle. :)
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